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Handkerchiefs



In a recent attempt to remember directions and be punctual, I lost my way to the staffroom.

It was Break time and everyone was interested in swings, slides and their friends. A huge part of me agrees to be comfortable in crowds, a straightforward part of me is not.

I asked a girl in Nursery for the way. She directed her finger at a room across the courtyard of the school. Strangely and thankfully, the girl stood there watching me, chewing her fingers. She had a running nose, wore a loose tunic and black slacks. On seeing confusion on my face, she walked towards me, took my hand and led me to the staffroom.

Kids watching stories on a screen

The picture is from the same day, of Class 1 watching a video about a Cow and a Cat. The whole story is a rhyming song. Of how children should carry handkerchiefs and how they should cover their nose and mouth while sneezing. The video shows: A Cat and a Cow are roaming around in a green field. The Cat finds a pond and jumps into it. She realizes that she does not know how to swim. Her friend, Cow, enters the water body and helps her out. The Cat starts sneezing relentlessly. Immediately, her friend Cow, pulls out some leaves from the ground and offer it to the Cat. The Cat covers her nose with them. After a while, she stops sneezing and they go back to having fun.
Post credits, their teacher said, "Deka! Toh kal se apne mummy papa se bolna ki hanki lana hai school".

With this, she moved to another video. There was another woman in the class, who takes care of children when they dirty themselves and stays back after school, pulling classroom chairs out at 1 in order to clean them, commented: "Madam iska toh pura hanki hi geela ho gaya."

A boy who till now had been sitting in the front row, got up and moved to the second last row. He pressed the dari smooth and laid there, closing his eyes. Other children made space for his shoes and legs. There was another boy who wanted to sit inside a tent. However, the teacher cautioned that mosquitoes might be there. He changed his seat to a row behind him and pulled his friend closer, keeping his head on his friend’s shoulder.

The boys rested, while everyone watched stories after stories.

The ice cream vendor that stands near these schools is not Kwality Walls. His menu card is different. The children ask for either vanilla cup or a cone with a topping of guess what? Vanilla.

When it is time for chutti, their parents usually walk to save up. Save up for what? You can see all the saving up with the slacks, torn bags, sockless feet, chappals to schools, beltless tunic, pockets without handkerchiefs.  In return, the children wait or walk to a way of life that they know best. They take steps, meet you midway, take your hand and offer you leaves, because this is what they learned in the classroom today.

... 

Working in development sector is hard.
After my friend gave up an offer in the development sector, my friend was also advised that working in the development sector, also means accepting the fact that some of us will have an uncomfortable relationship with our parents. “You can think of years before they will finally not taunt you.” Many times, the fights with families go more than just “You want to break ties?”
Sometimes these words will be said without a question mark. The verdict would have already passed. Words would flare up, and take the whole forest down. It's good that people call it winning when they go ahead, do whatever they decided to do.

But for me, it just looks like a lot of ash gets accumulated and decomposes to form compost. Nobody knows what can you grow in a soil that is so rich with words and anger and memories. It takes months before you can convince yourself that your dreams are not up for debates.

Nobody talks about the actual fights, debates that ring up in bedrooms for you to explain your dream. Because that would mean that Handkerchiefs would have to be shredded and sneezes would have to be relived again.

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